Talking Story in The Big Bold Blogosphere

Long before I started writing this blog I've been reading other people's blogs. Truly, some blogs have deepened my faith, lifted me from the depths of depression and despair, inspired me to change the way I think and even kicked my tush to confession and back to the heart of my faith--the Holy Mass. In the spirit of full disclosure, I first met my husband on the internet (before you all probably even knew it existed!) I guess I just want to say that just because someone is on the internet it doesn't scare me away from wanting to really get to know them.

I'm the sort of person who's skin crawls at the thought of prolonged superficiality. I like to sit and talk and listen and ask and strive to understand. I find people's stories fascinating. I always want to know more about the person with whom I'm interacting and I've been told (accused?) that I have a gift for getting people to open up to me. I don't set out for it to happen. But, I do love it when someone shares their story with me.

In Hawaii, I've learned, this kind of discourse is called "talking story". I love that. It goes so much deeper than plain old "talking". I mean, I can "talk" to the bagger at the grocery store by saying "Thanks" and "Have a good day". Talking is good. But, talking story is so much more. It is in this kind of sharing that we connect on the soul level--where we begin to let someone see who we really are.

As a (reluctant-at-times) military wife, I often find myself in the position of having to build new friendships. And this takes time. And energy. And trial and error. For, our stories rarely come spilling out in our first encounters with someone (though I've been known to try to fit my whole story in by rarely taking a breath and talking faster than the majority of people can listen!) Usually, we learn bits and pieces about new people with old stories being fleshed out more and more each time we meet. Sometimes we find people we really "get" and they get us and this is truly a gift. But, it is all too rare, in my opinion. Sometimes I find myself trying to pretzel myself into someone I am not just for the brief illusion that I've found such a friendship.

I am not suggesting that "kindred spirits" are the only friendships we should form. But, I'm starting to understand that friendships which require me to strip away core qualities in myself are not worth the shallow return they ultimately give. A true friendship allows me to be who I am with dignity and allows me to respect the differences in others even if I respectfully disagree with some of my friend's beliefs or values. If someone respectfully disagrees with me then they can love me even in the places that I am polar opposite to them and vice versa.

Reading the blogs of others, which are sometimes poignant slices of the writer's lives, has allowed me space to contemplate ideas without having to immediately respond. It has given me context into differing beliefs and values. It has also helped me better define what I believe and who I am working to become.

As I venture out into my "public debut" (just had a vision of a sparkly debutante ball) in this bloggy-world I'm realizing that a big reason I am doing this is I want to connect. It is true that online friends are not the same as IRL friends (and if you have to go look that up I feel soooo much better because it wasn't too long ago that I did too!). Still, the blogosphere allows us a very unique opportunity to connect with like-minded people, opposing-minded people, and people trying to figure out just where they stand--all in the space of a few clicks and shares. If we are willing, we have opportunities to engage in conversations that seek to find and share truth. If we are brave, we may even take the step to email someone personally and try to dig deeper on a particular idea or issue. In some cases, we may even be surprised to find a true and lasting friendship.

So, I'm Here. And I think I'll stay a while.  I mean it when I say, I hope that you'll come by often and talk story with me. It would be my absolute delight to meet you. Who knows, I may actually come to know you. And you me.