Our prayers have been answered

Our prayers have been answered in a very big way.

I will fill you in on details later. But, this has been one of the most humbling and growing experiences of our marriage. I am so grateful. All glory is to the God that loves us so much, that regardless of the outcome, He was and is taking care of us.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your prayers.

Two helpful thoughts for today:

"I don’t have grace yet for the plane flight to Bolivia because, well, I’m not on the plane yet. I don’t have grace yet for leaving because, well, I haven’t left yet."  

Elizabeth Esther talks here about how God gives us enough grace for today.

And while I was driving today I heard a familiar song and it felt like the Holy Spirit singing right into my heart:


Thank you for the continued prayers!

Begging your prayers

I come here today humbly begging for your prayers.

I keep trying to find the right way to convey the circumstances, while still protecting everyone's privacy. The best I can come up with is very big and important things are threatening very unwelcome changes for my family right now. We are stuck in a wait and see where we may have answers in a couple of weeks, or not for months. It is causing unimaginable stress, sadness and fear--especially for my husband and myself. I have been praying this Novena to St. Joseph for 5 days already:  http://www.ewtn.com/devotionals/novena/joseph.htm

And I'm working to memorize this one and tuck it deep in my heart:

Holy St. Joseph, Spouse of Mary, be mindful of me, pray for me, watch over me. Guardian of the paradise of the new Adam, provide for my temporal wants. Faithful guardian of the most precious of all treasures, I beseech thee to bring this matter to a happy end, if it be for the glory of God, and the good of my soul. Amen

In addition to this, we are in the middle of a stressful move. Prayers are welcome for this moves as well, as we try to navigate the logistics of moving against the backdrop of mammoth uncertainty.

In my daily prayers and bible study I am reminded of God's miracles bringing resolution in the most unexpected ways (the parting sea, a coin in a fishes mouth, manna appearing from nowhere). I cannot see the road before us, but I know that if I cling to God, His love is real and His plan is only good. And, I've learned in the past to beg for my heart's desire and I can most definitely TRUST HIM with my real desires. But, I will admit, it has been a moment to moment struggle to "lean not on [my] own understanding".

I am also daily remembering that even as earth-shattering as this potential change may feel to me, it is nothing compared to so much suffering in the world.

I have walked the halls of the pediatric oncology wing weeping prayers for my little boy. This is not cancer. It threatens a way of life, but certainly not anyone's life itself. And this is especially important for me to remember as at this very moment we have friend's clinging to hope and praying for the healing of their little boy. Please lift Ryan up in your prayers, too. He really needs them. And so does his family.

Will you please (please) pray with me? For Ryan? And for my family?

Thank you! From the bottom of my heart...

Lessons from the Laundromat

When I was in my early twenties I left the comforts of (what had become) home in New England. I decided to go back to my roots in California. I snapped up a beautiful rental cottage a mile from the beach in Santa Barbara. I had found paradise and they allowed my dog to live there. There were palm trees and a garbage disposal. But, it didn’t come with a washer and a dryer.

I kept busy with my job. Friends visited. And the dirty laundry baskets began to overflow. “But, what do we DO?” I asked my younger brother—who had dutifully moved in with me to give California another try. He mentioned he’d seen a place down the road. It had stacks of washing machines. Dyers too! We quickly discovered they required quarters. And your own soap. Eventually we kind of got the hang of it.

For the first few months we were patrons of two different Laundromats. My overall impression at the time (and I am embarrassed to admit this) were that mostly “creeps” hung out at both. And, it is true, that more than one creepy looking guy “made eyes at me” and more than once I left before folding-- just to get out of the place. I wouldn’t go alone. And my brother and I both waited until every last scrap of clothes in the cottage were completely unclean to head—trunk piled high—to do our laundry. Sometimes we also had to wait for payday. Of course we then always rewarded ourselves with Sushi from Arigatos. If you haven’t got the picture in your head yet, I was pretty spoiled. And, I certainly thought myself “above” needing a Laundromat. 

Things started to change when I got to know my neighbors. A young couple moved into the studio across the street. They also had the sweetest, most cute, most  precious baby girl (She had me at her first drool, ok?). Before too long, we were hanging out a bit. And (wipe tear), they invited me to do laundry with them. And they had found THE PLACE. This place was sunny and small and directly across the street from a yummy breakfast place. I was smitten. With my friends too. 

My friends didn’t complain about laundry day. They just did it. Little pumpkin in arm (or backpack) came along and we all sorted, washed and folded together. Jill, she really still is my hero for this, knew how to fold fitted sheets. The right way. To this day, I can’t do it without her present. And she lives a few thousand miles away. Pause a moment to shutter at the thought of my linen closets. It is ok. I have plenty of closet space and I keep the doors closed. You can relax now. 

Laundry day became…enjoyable? And, I even grew to appreciate the efficiency of getting everything done all at once—rather than my other method of rushing to wash just what I needed for work tomorrow. And a friendship was made—over folded towels and pastry.  I learned Matt was in school for photography and a few months later, Matt was taking beautiful photographs at my wedding. No creeps at our laundromat. Just good friends.

Ten years and few thousand miles later, and we are still friends trying to figure out when we can plan a co-family trip to our favorite places at Disneyland. And, up until recently, we have both had the luxury (and loneliness) of doing our laundry in our own homes.

Since November our washing machine and/or dryer have been on the fritz. They aren’t mine, or I would replace them. They belong to my landlord. And, I have a lot of emotions and words about our landlord situation right now, but just suffice it to say it hasn’t been pleasant as of late. And I've been praying. A lot.

Up until recently, it worked juuust often enough that I could keep a clean outfit or two for everyone available in the house. I’ve had wonderful friends let me throw a load or two in while we visit over coffee. Sadly, either they do not know how to fold fitted sheets or they aren't willing so share their knowledge.  Eventually the time had to come where there was just too much. And, gulp. I found myself heading to the Laundromat again.  $20, $40, $60 in quarters later and I we were on our way.  Three kids, me and a mini-van full of laundry. I mean, the kids had to move up to the middle seats full. I couldn’t see out the back. You get the picture?

We pulled into the parking lot of the laundromat on a nearby military base. As I lugged everything inside (with 3 kids lugging behind me) I quickly realized I was the only woman there. And definitely the only person with children in tow. A passing thought--now I don't remember the guys hanging out at the SB laundromats being this cute...but, I digress. Now, I was the middle-aged matron with three meddling kids invading what appeared to be a fairly friendly, albeit testosterone owned, space. It is not an exaggeration to say that everyone stopped to stare. I smiled, bravely, and tried to act "natural". Ha!

After being cut in line 2-3 times as washers came free, I was starting to think ugly thoughts about chivalry's deadness and days gone by. But, I kept my head down and pushed my way to a washer (or 3) the next time.

Some unwelcome thoughts of being "above" all this were sneaking back into my heart. And then, the humbling began.

I eavesdrop a lot. I don't know if it is because I like to read and write or just because I'm nosy, but I can't help but pick up on the conversations all around me.

Let me tell you a little bit about what I learned. Two of these guys were fresh home from deployment. Three more were about to head "back to the sandbox". They weren't washing their church clothes. They were washing their battle-gear. They laughed and joked and they saved dryers for each other. They were probably not even at the drinking age yet. And that is when my mother's heart first began to ache. I no longer rushed to grab the first free dryer (although, I will admit, my kids were pretty fast even without prompting).

Sitting there waiting, and waiting, and listening I witnessed two displays of comradery that will forever change my feelings about the laundromat--and hopefully my behavior too.

I watched an older soldier (meaning, more like my age instead of JV Basketball) get his laundry started and then look around. When no one was looking he stuck a $20 bill into the change machine then walked away. I kept watching. A few minutes later he went over to the machine and said "Hey, guys? Does this money belong to anyone?". When no one claimed it, he put the pile of coins on the counter, and walked away. Slowly, but surely, the young guys came by and grabbed a few coins. Never all of them, but just a few. And, I remembered--they serve our country for so little. If I am feeling the pinch of paying to do laundry, what does it feel like to them? Apparently, there were others who have thought of this before. Another "older" gentleman I'd been conversing with stopped me "Ma'am I'm just going to leave this extra (note: FULL) box of laundry detergent here. You're more than welcome to use it" and he winked as he left with his clean load. I had a full bottle of detergent. But, I made sure the next two guys about to purchase soap knew about the box. They gratefully used it. But, not all of it. Just what they needed.

4 hours after I arrived, I was finally loading my car up with stacks of baskets. I had stayed to fold. No creeps to run away from here. Just a bunch of guys (just like my husband) who seemed to take it in stride that they protect my freedom one day and wash their gear the next. And just a couple of men who are probably passing through the area on training--far from the families and spouses who usually help with this task--who took a second to "remember how it was" for them, and leave something behind to make the day just a little easier for their brothers in arms.

Pulling our of the parking lot I'd left a little piece of my heart behind. And some laundry detergent and a basket too. Next time I do laundry there I probably won't invade their space on a Sunday afternoon again (probably why I was the only woman there--who is dumb enough to go to the laundromat on Sunday afternoon? Pffft. Not me! again.). But, I will not complain. And I will go through these extra clothes and keep, not all of it, but just the few we need. I can leave the extra quarters I save, next time.

Must get back to regular writing Day Book

Outside I am hearing  the tradewinds are breezing and we are being beckoned to enjoy the rest of the day outdoors.

Inside I am hearing children chatting with a Daddy they are so glad is home on vacation for a few days. My husband works a lot. A LOT. Having him home has been such a treat. For everyone! :)

On the Ipod I heard a song on The Good Wife this week and can't get it out of my head (or off repeat)

I am wearing my pj's. Still. It is almost 11. Time to get moving, I think. We are so into this this staycation thing. We do have plans today. Really. We will get there. I promise! :)

Living the Liturgy I'm enjoying praying the liturgy of the hours. I am really appreciating the ipod app from www.divineoffice.org I'm still waiting to find a real rhythm and groove. I do feel like I'm getting closer, though! I enjoyed reading this article. The author reminded me that even when we are pulled away to serve our family, we are still engaged in the act of prayer.

I am thinking I really, really need to get back to writing. I miss it. And, oddly, even writing this feels awkward which means it has been far too long.

I am praying for friends back "home" who just lost their beloved Dad. He was one of many people who left a clear bread crumb trail to the Roman Catholic Church for me. Eternal rest grant him, O Lord. Rest in peace, Paul.

I am realizing my family is now waiting on ME to get the show on the road.

At least I took one small step back toward blogging! :)